IS IT ME?
by Tony Devaney
Morinelli
CAST: 2 females
SETTIN
G: 2
chairs.
One
woman
in a
dress.
One
woman
in a suit.
(
Costume
s may
be
imagined
)
INTE
NT:
Conv
ersati
ons
in
which
the
speak
er is
talkin
g to
hersel
f.
Wor
king
out
small
mov
eme
nts
betw
een
two
peop
le.
Si
m
pl
e
ph
ysi
ca
l
co
m
ed
y.
(T
WO
WO
ME
N
WA
ITI
NG
FO
R
A
JO
B
INT
ER
VIE
W
Each
is
holdin
g a
clip
board
with a
job
applic
ation
attach
ed
and a
pen.)
1.(
Sh
e
re
ad
s)
N
A
M
E..
....
....
(
an
d
fill
s
in)
2.
(R
ea
di
ng
)
D
A
T
E
O
F
BI
R
T
H
....
...
1.
(Gla
ncing
side
ways
at
2) I
won
der
how
old
she
is?
2.
Is
sh
e
wh
at
the
y'r
e
loo
kin
g
for
?
1.
I
w
on
de
r
w
ha
t
ty
pe
sh
e
is?
2.
I
sh
ou
ld
ha
ve
w
or
n
th
e
sui
t.
1.
Wo
uld
the
dres
s
have
bee
n
mor
e
femi
nine
?
2.
Sh
e
ha
s
pr
es
en
ce
in
tha
t
sui
t.
1. A
dress
is
less
threat
ening.
Espe
cially
to
anoth
er
wom
an.
2.
I
kn
e
w
I
go
t
he
re
to
o
ea
rly
.
1.
W
hy
ar
e
th
ey
ru
nni
ng
lat
e?
2. I
wonde
r if
they
do this
on
purpos
e so
that
you
see
what
you're
up
against.
1.
Well
at
least
I
kno
w
what
the
com
petiti
on
look
s
like.
2.
A
bit
har
d
loo
kin
g
if
yo
u
as
k
me
.
1.
She
loo
ks
too
mu
ch
like
a
pus
h-o
ver.
2.
Whe
re
did I
read
that
they
mak
e
you
wait
on
purp
ose.
1.
All
this
wa
itin
g.
M
y
fee
t
are
sw
eat
ing
.
(She
pushes one
shoe off,
notices a
smell -
puts her
hand lightly
to her nose
- then
catches
herself and
tries to get
it back on.)
2
.
Am I sweating?
1
.
What do I smell?
2.
I
ca
n't
lo
ok
un
de
r
m
y
ar
m
s.
1. Is that me?
2.
W
hy
di
d
I
we
ar
thi
s
sil
k
dr
es
s?
1.
I
sho
uld
hav
e
bou
ght
ne
w
sho
es.
2
.
I
f
e
e
l
s
o
s
t
u
p
i
d
.
1
.
I
s
t
h
a
t
my feet?
2.
(To
uch
es
und
er
her
arm
)
Do
esn'
t
feel
wet
.
1
.
Can't be me.
2
.
S
mells like feet.
1
.
Maybe its her.
2.
S
o
m
et
hi
ng
s
m
ell
s
o
d
d.
1. It's not me.
2
.
Maybe its her.
1
.
Could be her.
(2
drops
her
pen
intentio
nally
and
tries to
lean
over
and
"sniff"
1 while
1 tries
the
same)
(
The
next
two
exch
anges
are
deliv
ered
at
the
same
time)
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
2.
(
a
w
k
w
ar
dl
y)
O
h!
I
A
M
so
rr
y!
1
.
Oh! Excuse me!
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
2
.
L
o
v
el
y
s
h
o
e
s!
1.
Lo
vel
y
dr
ess
yo
u
ha
ve
on.
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
_
2.
Oh,
I
.......
...
(laug
hs
at
the
awk
war
dnes
s of
the
situa
tion)
1
.
Yes, I ...... (laughs)
2.
I
su
pp
os
e
I
dr
op
pe
d
my
pe
n.
1
.
Y
e
s,
a
n
d
s
o
di
d
I.
2.
The
se
thin
gs
are
such
a
wor
ry
aren
't
they
?
1.
S
o
m
u
c
h
pr
es
su
re
.
2.
Ho
w
lon
g
hav
e
we
be
en
her
e?
1. I
don't
know
.
(Loo
ks at
her
watc
h)
It's
been
about
an
hour.
2. An hour!
1.
Th
ey
do
m
ak
e
yo
u
w
ait
.
2.
Well, why should we?
1.
Be
ca
us
e
w
e
w
an
t
th
e
jo
b.
2. But
who
wants
to
work
for a
place
that
shows
no
conside
ration
for
their
employ
ees?
1.
Yes,
they
coul
d
have
been
mor
e
cons
idera
te.
2
.
Yes, indeed.
1.
Espe
cially
,
well
,
you
kno
w.
The
way
they
sche
dule.
2.
Th
e
w
ay
th
ey
sc
he
du
le.
1.
T
w
o
of
us
at
th
e
sa
m
e
ti
m
e.
2.
W
hat
tim
e
wa
s
yo
ur
ap
poi
nt
me
nt?
1. Eleven.
2.
El
ev
en
!
I
ha
ve
el
ev
en
!
1.
N
o
c
o
n
si
d
er
at
io
n.
2. None.
1.
I'
d
le
a
v
e
if
I
w
er
e
y
o
u.
2
.
You would.
1.
Y
es
,
in
d
ee
d.
I'
d
le
av
e.
2.
Well, I
should
think
you'd
want
to go
right in
there
and
give
them a
piece
of your
mind.
1.
What
good
would
that
do?
They
don't
care.
Just
leave
and let
them
wonder
.
2.
Wh
y
shou
ld I
leav
e?
Wh
y
don'
t
you
leav
e?
1
.
I
d
o
n'
t
m
in
d
w
ai
ti
n
g.
2
.
Well, neither do I.
1.
Ar
e
yo
u
rea
lly
just
goi
ng
to
sit
the
re?
2. I have time.
1.
It
d
o
es
n't
of
fe
n
d
y
o
u?
2.
I'm
a
patie
nt
pers
on.
Any
one
can
mak
e a
mista
ke.
1.
And
you're
going
to let
them
walk
all
over
you,
just
like
that -
right
from
the
start?
2
.
Walk all over me?
1.
Wa
lk
all
ove
r
you
.
No
con
sid
era
tion
.
2. I can wait.
(
Pause)
1. You
know
my dear,
I did
notice.
Of
course,
if you're
going to
wait
,you
want to
present
your
best side.
2
.
My best side?
1. I
mean
you
would
n't
want
to go
in
there
and
....
well,
...
you
know,
....
offend
.
2. Offend?
1.
W
ell
,
th
er
e
is
a
ce
rt
ai
n,
...
..
s
m
ell
.
2. Smell?
1. I
mean,
in all
the
rush,
...
The
excite
ment,.
....
any
one
can
forget
their
roll-o
n.
2. Roll - on?
1.
(
W
his
pe
rs)
D
eo
do
ra
nt,
de
ar.
2. Oh,
oh my!
( panic
stricken
, she
feels
under
her
arms)
IS IT
ME?
Oh, I
knew
it was
me!
1.
Don't
be
embar
rasse
d. It
can
happe
n.
We're
only
huma
n
after
all.
2.
Oh,
I'm
mor
tifie
d.
It's
a
goo
d
thin
g I
didn
't
go
in
ther
e.
1.
Go
od
thi
ng
yo
u
ca
ug
ht
it
in
tim
e.
2. They
haven't
seen me
yet. I'll
go out to
the pay
phone
and call
in to say
I'm sick.
I'm sure
they'll
re-schedu
le.
1
.
Of course they will.
2.
(Sniffin
g and
touchin
g
under
her
arm
as she
runs
off.)
Oh,
my
goodn
ess!
1.
W
ell,
tha
t
wa
s
rat
her
eas
y
wa
sn't
it?
(Silence.
She
resumes
filling in
the form.
She
hesitates.
Sniffs.
Takes off
her shoe.
Sniffs.
Raises
her foot
to her
nose.)
1.
U
U
U
U
G
H
H
H
H!
IT
IS
M
E!!
!!
(
Sh
e
run
s
off.
)